The darndest things...
Me: See look, your baby sister isn't in my tummy anymore.
(I lift up my top to show him my tummy)
Elliot: There another one in there?
Introducing Frida Ailwyn Neish
May 1st 2013, 2.04am
3.5kg (7lb, 11oz)
Our lovely baby girl was born early on Wednesday morning after an amazingly straightforward labour. The builders left on Monday, then the cleaners finished up on Tuesday at 6.15pm, the midwife arrived at 7pm and Frida was born early on Wednesday morning at the hospital. No drugs! (Although I was requesting ALL the drugs... Quite loudly too!) it was quick enough not to need them in the end.
We were back home by 4am, cosy in our own bed and Elliot met his sister later that morning.
We were back home by 4am, cosy in our own bed and Elliot met his sister later that morning.
I'll write a longer post about it this week once the dust has settled, right now we are all just enjoying getting to know our little princess and catching up on some sleep.
Here we go again!
Well here we are, over a year and a half since the last blog entry and we're about to do it all again with baby No.2!
My due date was yesterday and amongst some extreme nesting, a full time freelance job and toddler taming we've hardly had time to stop and dwell on the lovely lady inside my tummy. Now that most of that is done, I'll hopefully have time to keep you updated on all things Schneish over the next few months as 3 become 4.
Highlights may include:
Elliot's tips on how to be a big brother
Tom's tips on raising girls, including starting a shotgun collection to ward off potential suitors
Pantone references of snot (as it was such a hit last time)
And an insight into the mind of the chronically underslept.
Stay tuned Schneish fans!
xoxo
Flying With Baby
Tomorrow we're off to Canada on holiday
(ay?)
So this week I'm commanding a small military operation preparing us for the flight. In the last year we have successfully circumnavigated the globe, passed through airport security in seven different airports, four different countries and we've even braved a budget airline. So today I thought I'd share some tips for flying with baby...
So this week I'm commanding a small military operation preparing us for the flight. In the last year we have successfully circumnavigated the globe, passed through airport security in seven different airports, four different countries and we've even braved a budget airline. So today I thought I'd share some tips for flying with baby...
First off, booking your flight. It's a bit of a myth that kids under two
fly 'free'. Well... sure, they don't have to pay the price of a normal ticket.
But they still have to pay airport tax and a booking fee (plus a dozen more
'fees' if you're on a budget airline). So a baby will still cost you about £170
to fly to Australia or £130 to fly to the states.
Budget airlines are run by childless
baddies who conduct social experiments with non-allocated seating just to see
which passengers will kill the rest. It’s perfectly reasonable to kill whoever
you need to to get to on the plane first.
On bigger planes you can request a bassinet
but it's not actually confirmed until the day when they see how many babies
turn up so it's best to get there early, unless you're a sadist. Another reason
to turn up early, you can't check-in online when you've booked a bassinet. As
much as the website looks like it will check you in, you'll get to a point
where it won't go any further and you'll end up shouting "Why?!" at
the computer a lot. It will look like the leg room seats have all already been
taken but they’re actually reserved for people like you. So save yourself the
cyber rage and get there three hours before an international flight.
What you gain in leg room, you lose in
comfort because of the small person squirming on your lap but it's not as bad
as it sounds so long as you lower your expectations of the whole flying experience
and resign yourself to the following things: You won't get any sleep, you might
not get to eat, you might not get to watch any films, your child will be 'that
bloody kid' and everyone around you will hate you. (I console myself with the
fact that I will never see any of these people ever again.) Once you have come
to terms with this, you can make preparations.
Try to take a long haul flight that leaves
as early in the day as you can.... (not like, crazy early, like 6am, that's
just silly) but something in the morning would be ideal. When we flew to
Australia we left in the evening, so by the time we arrived after 3 flights
we'd been travelling for 36 hours but I'd been awake for another 12 on top of
that... I was so tired I was having head spins while standing on an escalator
with a kid strapped to me. Not ideal.
Babies are easier to fly with when they are
oblivious to everything around them. I think the ‘golden age’ for long haul
flights would be two to seven months old. Elliot was five and a half months
when we went to Australia. Old enough to sleep for a few hours, young enough to
be content sitting in one spot. When we came back things were different. He was
seven months old and had started eating solid food, so mealtimes were messy, he
could sit up on his own and he had to be constantly distracted from his main
aim which was to find an escape route. He was quite happy sitting up in the
bassinet but due to his massive head, if he looked over the edge it was enough
to topple him right over head-first into my lap so I had to be on the ball all
the time.
Next, what to pack. The airlines all have
slightly different rules for luggage so check before you book your flight. The
usual luggage allowance is something like:
Adults: 1 piece of hand luggage up to 10kg,
2 pieces of check in up to 32kg in total
Babies: 2 items of check in luggage which
as long as it is either; a pram, a car seat or a travel cot, 1 small bag for
hand luggage with necessities like baby food and nappies.
You will probably need to take a car seat
with you because taxis don't always have them. The Bugaboos Bee is great
because a MaxiCosi car seat clips onto it on top of its normal seat so you can
hop in a cab if need be. In many countries they don't have car seats at all and
they are happy for you to hold the baby on your lap.
Some airports have baby buggies in the
terminal and most airlines, including Easyjet, let you take the pram right up
to the gate and it’s there at the other end as soon as you get off the plane
but even getting on and off the plane can take ages so it’s good to have a
papoose (like an Ergobaby) too.
Babies get extra luggage allowances which
makes things easier but consider the fact that you may have to carry all your
luggage nad your baby on your own at some point, with no help and no trolley.
You will end up looking like a creature from Labyrinth. For this reason we
don’t use a wheely suitcase, it’s impossible to use while pushing a pram, we
take a big rucksack instead. So I have a big rucksack on my back, small handbag
over one shoulder, baby in the car seat, car seat clipped into the pram, hand
luggage dangling from the pram, small baby bag under the pram, duty free liquor
in with the baby.
Due to terror, disorganisation or invisible
clouds there’s a good chance you will be delayed, so take enough supplies to
last you for 24 hours… even if it’s a 2 hour flight. Your luggage may get lost
or you may arrive somewhere after everything is closed, like in Italy on a
Tuesday afternoon. You should also consider the following when packing your
hand luggage; Imagine the biggest poo your baby has ever done, along with the
most vomit that has ever come out of him. Now imagine that it happens all at
once while you’re sitting on a plane. Take everything you would need in that
situation. Plus some extra stuff in case it happens again. Things you will need
to take with you…
In the small baby hand luggage bag:
Passports & tickets (derr)
Bottle with powder formula
Baby snacks - like rice cakes, muesli bars, bananas
Nappy bag with wipes, calpol sachets, hand sanitizer, sudocrem
Plastic shopping bags for soiled things
A blanket for baby to play on in the airport… the floor is disgusting except in Singapore where bacteria is illegal.
Passports & tickets (derr)
Bottle with powder formula
Baby snacks - like rice cakes, muesli bars, bananas
Nappy bag with wipes, calpol sachets, hand sanitizer, sudocrem
Plastic shopping bags for soiled things
A blanket for baby to play on in the airport… the floor is disgusting except in Singapore where bacteria is illegal.
Hand luggage main bag:
Toys and books
More wipes
Formula - powder
Formula - cartons
Nappies x 10
Another sterilised bottle (in a zip lock bag)
Baby food and spoons
More baby food in case you're waiting at the airport
Snacks for you
More plastic bags for nappies, dirty clothes, uneaten food etc.
Baby clothes - sleepsuits x 3, jumpers x 2 (it gets really cold in planes)
A spare outfit for you in case Vomigeddon occurs
Muslins and bibs
If you’re breast feeding a new bra might be nice too
Toys and books
More wipes
Formula - powder
Formula - cartons
Nappies x 10
Another sterilised bottle (in a zip lock bag)
Baby food and spoons
More baby food in case you're waiting at the airport
Snacks for you
More plastic bags for nappies, dirty clothes, uneaten food etc.
Baby clothes - sleepsuits x 3, jumpers x 2 (it gets really cold in planes)
A spare outfit for you in case Vomigeddon occurs
Muslins and bibs
If you’re breast feeding a new bra might be nice too
If you're flying on your own eat as much as
you can before you get on the plane. You may not get the chance to have a
proper meal in the air. The staff will sometimes put it aside for you until
your baby is asleep, but there’s a good chance another staff member will throw
it out. Grrr! Even on a stopover, you'll spend most of your time in the baby
change room so don't depend on grabbing some noodles in the food court. Eating
less on long flights is actually really good a for jetlag. A new study has
found that our body clock is dictated by our stomach. So if you avoid food
altogether, your body will adjust to a new timezone more easily…. But if you’re
like me you’ll also be really really grumpy.
Now, getting through security. It’s nice
that airport officials are keeping us all safe with vigilant safety checks but
getting through security on your own with a bub is a bit of nightmare because
airport staff aren’t allowed to hold your baby (which is absurd). The great
thing about planes these days though is that they’re full of retirees who are
always willing to help. Line yourself up behind one in the queue and as soon as
you start to struggle putting a baby back in a papoose you’ll be amazed at how
quickly a granny will offer to help. Without the help of about a dozen grannies
my trip to Australia would have been impossible. Grannies we salute you!
Getting formula through security is a right
pain because you aren’t allowed to take more that 100ml of liquid onto a plane,
but it is up to the security official’s discretion. They may ask you to taste
it. I take two small 200ml cartons of formula and an empty sterilised bottle.
They will ask you to open one of the cartons and drink some (they are meant to
ask you to drink the 50% of it, but they rarely do). Then I pour the rest of
the carton into the bottle and keep it for take off. I also bring some sachets
of powdered formula so if the cartons are taken from me I can buy a bottle of
water after going through security and mix it with the powder.
Taking a small sachet of powder through
security could be an issue for obvious reasons! Last time I took powder in
small sachets divided into one feed each, I bought some bags with cartoon
characters on them to avoid looking like a drug mule… not sure it worked…
At the gate let the bubba do all the
roaming, screeching and crawling he wants. This is where a blanket for the
floor comes in handy. He will be confined to a small space for a long time so
be as energeic and noisy as possible to tire him out and watch everyone’s faces
as they secretly hope you’re not in the seat next to them.
Once you’re actually on the plane carefully
organise your most essential items to be within arms reach. On one flight I
plonked Elliot on the floor as we boarded and gave him the inflight magazine.
This worked a treat. He happily shredded it up into tiny pieces for long enough
for me to get organised with all our junk. Luckily we were flying Singapore
Airlines so the staff were unfathomably polite and just said kindly, “Shall I
clear this away for you now?” referring to the mountain of paper at my feet.
As you take off remember that little ears
don’t agree with pressurised cabins (smaller planes are worse than bigger ones)
and it can be very painful for them if they don’t pop their ears with the
change in air pressure. Feed your baby some water or milk as the plane takes
off and comes down, the swallowing action will help them pop their ears. But!
Remember that you have to stay in your seat for ages so don’t start feeding
until the plane is actually doing it’s run up, sometimes it toodles around the
tarmac for ages and the bottle will be empty by the time you actually need it.
And one more piece of advice. Once you're in the air, crack open a sachet of Calpol for the little one, and get yourself a stiff drink! You deserve it!
Doing The Monster Mash
Yesterday was Elliot's first birthday party and it was perfect!
For the last week we've been planning costumes, decorations, cakes and hardly had time to sleep but it all came together beautifully. The rain held off for a beautiful day in the park. Our military operation of getting the boy to sleep at the right time to be a happy monster for the party worked a treat and he was such an angel all day.
Some of the other babies dressed up in their best monster gear. Aurelia's zombie outfit was alarming and gorgeous all at the same time and Macy's pterodactyl outfit was an incredible feat. Especailly seeing as it was put together using a travel sewing kit!
I'll upload the recipe for the baby friendly carrot cupcakes and some instructions on how to make your own monster finger puppets and details of the monster cake!
Elliot's actual birthday is on Saturday so we're saving most of the presents for then. Happy Birthday my little monster!!
On this day...
I can't believe it's been a year since THIS. My how time flies. Preparations are underway for the big party on Sunday. There will be cake, bunting and of course MONSTERS!
Sending lots of love to Celia and Keith who are at St Tommies right now going through it all.Can't wait to meet mini McCarthy!
xoxo
Sending lots of love to Celia and Keith who are at St Tommies right now going through it all.Can't wait to meet mini McCarthy!
xoxo
Mum skills: Working it
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a modern woman who has just had a baby must be planning to return to work. Or is she?
If someone had asked me years ago what sort
of maternity leave I would take, I
would have said, "I'll take 6 months off and go back to work. I'm a career
lady. I'll be bored silly talking to a baby all day." My career was of
huge importance and having a husband who was keen to stay at home slaving over
a hot stove, I was pretty sure we had it all figured out.
But it's just not that simple. You don't
know how you're going to feel once you have that cute little gurgling spew
monster in your arms. It’s not easy to find the confidence to go out and talk
yourself up and when you finally do, you face a new kind of prejudice.
For me, it would have been incredibly hard
to go back to work when Elliot was 6 months old. It seemed too soon, but many
people do it. In Australia, it’s a financial necessity. In the states women only get 12 weeks off which
seems incredibly harsh. At 12 weeks I was still wincing from back pain,
delirious from broken sleep and likely to leak spontaneously throughout the
day. But that's the reality for so many women. If you're serious about your
career, you have to keep calm and carry on, but only if it's right for you.
In his book How Not To F*** Them Up (one of my favourites) Oliver James talks about the importance of the mother's happiness in a family unit. Statistically, families where the mother feels depressed about her position, whether she's bored in the home or frustrated with work, are more likely to fall apart. The mental health of the mother, more than any other family member, impacts on the rest of the family so the decision to return to work has to feel right for the individual. There is no shame in giving up your career for your family, or going straight back to work, whatever makes you most fulfilled is the right answer for you.
As it turned out, the time I had off wasn't
nearly as boring as I'd imagined, but I had to manage my time in new and clever
ways. So many people said "You need to sleep when he sleeps" Which
sounds great, but it fails in two areas;
1. Babies tend to sleep when you walk them
around in a pram ...and although I've tried it, it's actually quite hard to
sleep while doing this.
2. If you do manage to get a baby to sleep
during the day in his own bed, you have approximately forty five minutes to do
everything you need to do that day, like; have a shower, brush your hair, make
lunch, make dinner, eat, look in the mirror, find a clean jumper, tidy the
house, pay the car insurance and locate at least two shoes that match. Once
he's awake, he'll want to leave the house, so it's best you prioritise these
tasks and find the matching shoes first.
I found it hard to come to terms with the
amount of time I had to spend 'doing things'. Babies need to be stimulated
constantly, even if it's just watching you have a conversation. Suddenly I had
all the time in the world to go to cafes and eat cake, but no time to write
emails or clean the house. All this time 'doing things' gives you time to
think. As an out of work creative person with no creative outlet, I found
myself bursting with ideas, but no time to do them, which is incredibly
frustrating.
Making the transition a year ago from 'Emma
The Art Director' to 'Elliot's Mum' was a challenge, especially because I felt
that up until then I had defined myself by my job. After a little internal struggle
and a minor identity crisis, I have embraced being known as 'Elliot's Mum' (I
did make him myself after all) and just when I'm getting comfy in my new skin,
it's time to revisit my former self. It's all fun and games daydreaming about
becoming a pro blogger or starting my own gift-wrap/book-design/party-planning
company, but truth be told, if we ever want to have another baby, I need to
make some money. So it's back to work for me.
This TED talk from Facebook COO (not sure
what a COO actually is but it seems important) Sheryl Sandberg hits the nail on
the head. It's not fair for women, it's just not, but the more aware we are of
our challenges, the more we can overcome them. Much of succeeding in the
workplace is about believing you're the best. Confidence is hard enough to find
most of the time, but when you've taken a year off to become expert in hard to
lift stains and discreet places to get your boobs out, it takes even more mojo
to get you there.
Perhaps starting from scratch and finding a
whole new job is harder than going back to a your old one. (A familiar desk,
familiar colleagues, same bus route sounds quite nice.) But even still, the biggest shift to
get used to is that you have changed so much, but everyone else has stayed the
same. The first few times I went out without Elliot I thought, "No one
knows I'm a mum, I just look like a regular person" then I realised how
many other women might be thinking the same thing. "I wonder who else has
a tiny pair of spare socks in their power handbag?" And I realised, there are so many of us
who make it work. I felt like the time was right.
So I sent out some emails with a CV and
examples of my work. I contacted former employers, recruitment agents,
advertised positions. No response. A month later I got the confidence to do it
again. I wrote a different email, sent it out and instantly received calls and
emails and got myself a job!
So what was the difference? The first email
started with, "I am returning to work after my maternity leave and I'm looking
for freelance or full-time work", the second started with, "I am
looking or freelance or full-time work". U-huh, that’s right, plain old
discrimination.
People aren't allowed to discriminate
against mothers. But perhaps they can't help it. Perhaps I am guilty of it
myself. They assume we're out of the loop, we can't work long hours, we aren't
passionate about our jobs. And maybe that’s true, we've got other important
things in our lives... but we're still capable of doing our jobs. We can still
come up with great ideas, solve problems, manage teams and handle tight
deadlines. We're actually more experienced at those things than we were before
kids. Because although we can't stay at work until 10pm every night, we're
doing all those things 24 hours a day without even knowing it. That's just what
mums do.
So in a few weeks when I start my
fancy new fashion job, I'm not going to feel inferior to the guys talking
themselves up and the girls with up-to-the-minute hairstyles, because I have
all sorts of new skills that I can unleash on my career.
I can function perfectly well on 4 hours
sleep.
I can diffuse a temper tantrum through the
powers of distraction
I can get ready to leave the house in 10
minutes flat
I can instantly come up with a new solution
when the first one is thrown on the floor
I have patience for those who need a little
more help than others
I know how to stand up for what is
important to me
and I can accomplish all manner of tasks in
45 minutes and I can do it one handed if need be.
11 months
New skills:
Standing on my own for up to 10 seconds!
Rarrr! (Like a lion)
Putting things back in holes (instead of just taking them out)
Drinking from a sippy cup
Eating small things like raisins
Favourite words:
Mama! This means 'mum' and 'cuddles' and 'get me out of here!'
Da! This means 'dad' and 'food' and 'hey look at me!'
Bye bye! This means 'bye bye' ... derr.
Favourite songs:
Uptown Top Rankin' I like to do the "Uu!" bit when Mum and Dad sing it
Old Macdonald Had A Farm - I like to sing the "E i e i OOoo" bit
Favourite things:
Dangerous stuff like stairs and slippery dips. I love climbing.
I like to put my head down on soft things as if I'm going to sleep
Blowing raspberries on Mummy's arm
Blowing a raspberry when Daddy does a fart
Mama! This means 'mum' and 'cuddles' and 'get me out of here!'
Da! This means 'dad' and 'food' and 'hey look at me!'
Bye bye! This means 'bye bye' ... derr.
Favourite songs:
Uptown Top Rankin' I like to do the "Uu!" bit when Mum and Dad sing it
Old Macdonald Had A Farm - I like to sing the "E i e i OOoo" bit
Favourite things:
Dangerous stuff like stairs and slippery dips. I love climbing.
I like to put my head down on soft things as if I'm going to sleep
Blowing raspberries on Mummy's arm
Blowing a raspberry when Daddy does a fart
July 23rd
While I am saddened by the news of Amy Winehouse I am also enjoying watching the neighbours bash a dick-and-balls pinata.
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