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Can I just put feminism aside for a moment to talk about washing?

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Look at this picture. It's a pile of socks. Socks without partners. They sit patiently on a chair in our kitchen and wait for their partners to pick them up on their way out of the washing machine. But they never come. Why?

In all my enthusiasm for smashing glass ceilings I've forgotten to learn some important wife skills like doing laundry. All our socks lose their friends. It's not just this pile, there's a whole other box of them in the bedroom that serves as an ante-room for the bin.

If you could feel them you would also notice that they have the texture of cardboard. No matter how much fabric softener I chuck in there, they always turn into cardboard. Also cardigans, why do they always become incredibly wide and stiff? Like a long piece of pita bread with buttons? What's the secret? Is it tumble drying? Because everyone knows that that kills polar bears and I'm not sure that my quest for comfortable toes is worth that much damage to the ozone layer, although I'm not sure pumping fabric softener into the water system is much better. For all I know the polar bears are slipping off their slimey icebergs from all the Comfort I've used. Or is it ironing that makes things soft? The last time I used the iron, just before I had Elliot, I burned myself and it scarred. It's actually quite a good scar and gets sideways glances from people ...so it's not all bad, it's given me some mystique! But not enough to make me want to iron things again.

I need to investigate. If anyone can help me with this experiment please let me know. I'm sure Tom and Elliot will be pleased to finally ditch the cardboard undies.


Jez said...

My hunch is hard-water floweth up the Hill.

Virpi said...

try vinegar, old trick to keep fabrics soft, and it's ecological

tom said...


Stelvio said...

We have this, it is brilliant.......


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