More proof that babies are just very small drunk people

Meanwhile in England...

Tom hosts auditions for a replacement

Stop, potty time!

This ad seems to be on every time I turn on the TV so someone at the Target Market Ad Placement Place is doing their job right. I'm not sure if it is fabulous or awful, maybe both. You need to see it...

No way! It's Australia Hole!

The Sapphire Coast's premier tourist attraction, Australia Hole was one of my favourite holiday destinations as a kid so it's no wonder I took Elliot there to experience it for himself. Some people don't appreciate the incredible beauty of this natural oddity but Elliot was more than impressed as you can see. We also saw seals and a camel, but the camel was elsewhere and I didn't get a picture.

"We drove all this way for this?"

Arf arf arf arf

Surprise!

We're in Australia! After two trains three planes, a taxi a car ride and a whole lot of secret plans we made it to Batemans Bay to surprise Granny. Dad went out to get some milk and came back an hour later with us. She couldn't believe her eyes when we walked in. (In typical Pam style she was about to call the police because it had taken Dad so long to go to the shops.) Then she can't stop hugging her lovely little man. The next day Uncle Pete, Mel and Dan came up from Melbourne so Elliot could collect the whole set.

The plane journey wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, there will be a whole other blog post about it later. But for now here's some family fun...

Playtime with Grandblods

One for the modelling portfolio

Dan experiences the joy of parenthood

Off to the seaside

Elliot was enthralled with his first trip to the beach

Cuddles with Auntie Mel

Baby skills: Hitting the bottle

Sometimes if you want things done properly you've got to do them yourself.

Gung hay fat choi!

Happy Chinese New Year from our little dumpling!

This year is the year of the rabbit. But a rabbit costume would have been way too normal.

I may have tipped over into 'Stage Mom' territory with this one but it was so much fun to make. Of course you can't have Chinese New Year without fortune cookies...

and lucky money...

And tasty prawns...

Joe Blogs

We were all sad to say goodbye to Andy and Bella as they left to travel the sub-continent but also thrilled that they entrusted us with one of Dee's fancy camera lenses in the hope that we would give it back to him ...Then Elliot's friend Joe came over we got it out and took some very nice pictures with it. Now he'll never get it back. Mwa ha haa!

Exhibitionism No3: London Aquarium

The London Aquarium
Adults - £19, £14 if you arrive after 3pm and book online
Children under 3 - Free

This one is from a while ago, before we went to hospital. It's also not free...and I didn't walk there. So winning on all fronts with the new year's resolutions! Anyhoo...

Ruth, bump, Bess, Elliot and I went to the London aquarium to see some slippery creatures. It was magical! The light was lovely, the creatures were amazing and the kiddies loved it. Elliot was a big fan of the stingrays. I told him to beware as they have a vendetta against Australians.

5 months old

Weight: 8.7kg (19lbs 3oz)

Length: 65cm

Favourite things: Dragon fruit, Sophie the giraffe, fingers

Talents: Stealing Daddy's glasses, rollin' rollin' rollin', almost sitting!

Cuteness: See for yourself...

Can I just put feminism aside for a moment to talk about washing?

Look at this picture. It's a pile of socks. Socks without partners. They sit patiently on a chair in our kitchen and wait for their partners to pick them up on their way out of the washing machine. But they never come. Why?

In all my enthusiasm for smashing glass ceilings I've forgotten to learn some important wife skills like doing laundry. All our socks lose their friends. It's not just this pile, there's a whole other box of them in the bedroom that serves as an ante-room for the bin.

If you could feel them you would also notice that they have the texture of cardboard. No matter how much fabric softener I chuck in there, they always turn into cardboard. Also cardigans, why do they always become incredibly wide and stiff? Like a long piece of pita bread with buttons? What's the secret? Is it tumble drying? Because everyone knows that that kills polar bears and I'm not sure that my quest for comfortable toes is worth that much damage to the ozone layer, although I'm not sure pumping fabric softener into the water system is much better. For all I know the polar bears are slipping off their slimey icebergs from all the Comfort I've used. Or is it ironing that makes things soft? The last time I used the iron, just before I had Elliot, I burned myself and it scarred. It's actually quite a good scar and gets sideways glances from people ...so it's not all bad, it's given me some mystique! But not enough to make me want to iron things again.

I need to investigate. If anyone can help me with this experiment please let me know. I'm sure Tom and Elliot will be pleased to finally ditch the cardboard undies.